Peggy's Musical Influences

My Mom can’t sing.  She first learned this at Estill High School when the choir director asked her to mouth the words and make no sound.  Britney could learn a thing or two about lip synching from Peg.  But Lord does she love music.  The hymns especially.  And lyric precision is unnecessary.  On Easter Sunday:  Christ the Lord is Risen Hoo-Ray!  Fa-la-la-la-la-le-lu-yah!

 

When Dad has given a Sunday School lesson and is showered with over-praise by fellow churchgoers, all afternoon it’s:“Holy, holy, holy.  Lord WES almighty!”

Handel’s Messiah blares at Christmastime.  Anytime I hear For Unto Us A Child is Born I think about her cheese biscuits (and Jesus).

As a child her pop music choices were somewhat confusing.  With three kids going to and from soccer, choir, piano, dance, Millie Lewis, there was some serious Lemon Lebarron time. 

So we listened to music.  Madonna was off limits.  Because she sang that song about being “Like” a Virgin.  And this means she wasn’t really a virgin if she said she was “like” a virgin.  And there’s no way that woman is a virgin anyway, look at her.  And she rolls around on the stage when she sings this song she is obviously singing about sex and it is NOT APPROPRIATE.  Turn that shit off.

But her favorite song at the time was the Pointer Sisters “I’m so excited!”  She would sing this in the days leading up to the annual family trip to Litchfield By the Sea, before Christmas, even on the way to a new movie or to get ice cream.  Anything that was exciting for the Lawton family.  Problem is, the lyrics say “Tonight’s the night we’re gonna make it happen.  Tonight we’ll put all other things aside . . .I want to love you, feel you, wrap my arms around you.”  Not sure she noticed that part.  Whatever, file this one away as APPROPRIATE song to reflect any state of excitement, not NECESSARILY sexy.



And she loved Tina Turner and had the album.  This Private Dancer song, I thought it was weird, why would anyone want to pay another person just to dance with them?  Especially if their hair is sticking up like that?  And isn’t she old?  She sounds old.  Why is she saying the men come from all these places, and the men are all the same?  She sounds kind of beat down and exhausted. “Mom, why does she have such a raspy voice?  She’s not really singing is she?  Why is this a hit song?”  Mom would tell me “You’ve never heard of Tina Turner!?  This is the way she sings!  It’s because she’s SEXY.” 

And Bruce Springsteen help us all.  The album with his butt and a bandanna sticking out the jeans pocket.  She loved it.  Dancin’ in the Dark.  And the screaming off-key about being born in the USA.  Love.  Turn it UP!  This was also labeled “sexy” by Peg.  After the umpteenth time listening to what she deemed sexy in the LeBarron, I had to comment.

Mom this just sucks.


Lord this incited Peg-rage of enormous proportions.  I will give you the PG version of her response:

“What????  What did you say?  Do you know was “this sucks” means??  Are you sure you want to say this?  What kind of person says that?  Who taught you to say that?  Someone at school?  That’s just nasty.”

Ok.  Let’s summarize.  Madonna a whore beyond measure and not sexy at all.  Pointer Sisters overtly singing about sex, but not sexy or inappropriate, just fun.  Tina Turner sexy for an older lady with stickin’ up hair and a raspy voice.  Bruce Springsteen sexy even though off key and yelling, possibly singing about sex, not too cute, but cute butt with bandanna. 

Saying it sucks is shameful and gross, warrants punishment, somehow a sex-related comment, but not necessarily sexy.

Got it.

As for non-religious or sex/sexy music, one particular song comes to mind.  If you are Peg’s daughter, and let’s say you have on a new suit, and let’s say you have on a new suit because you are getting sworn into the SC Bar, or you are walking on homecoming court with your boyfriend-almost-husband, or you are interviewing for a college scholarship, and you are LATE for this event and pissed, and stomping ahead of Peggy on the sidewalk:   BEWARE.  If Peg walks behind you at all while you are wearing this get up and in this kind of mood, you will hear one song (loudly), sung almost-sorta to the beat of your clacking high heels:

There she goes just a’walkin’ down the street singing doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo.  She looks GOOD.  She looks FINE.  Even with a BIG BEHIND.

Sometimes I hear this song in my head when I’m walking into the courthouse, unless of course I hear my old standby, which works well with the heel clacking:  Pussycat Dolls “Don’tcha Wish your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me, Don’tcha wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me, Don’tcha.” 

A personal fav.  Sexy?  Fun? Inappropriate? About sex in some capacity but not sexy?  Not sure.